The tag line of this post is inspired from a sentence my friend
Capricious said recently...it has nothing much to do with the content of this post,but I thought it would be interesting...
Every girl wants someone who loves her so much that he will do anything to keep a smile on her face.....I might not be the typical girly girl,but I want someone like that too,who would love me to the stars and back,someone who would take care of me,someone solid and dependable and loyal. I don't know what to wish for any more. (Let me bring you up to speed on my love life so far...one cheated on me,second had been taking anti-depressants for as long as I have known him and the third....well...we are taking a break.....Throw in a life long crush-cum-best friend who died a tragic death and we are one large,happy family...).
Carrie Bradshaw says in Sex and the City (the series,not the movie..Season1 Episode 8 to be exact) that nature is obsessed with threesomes. I disagree wholeheartedly with that,because I think nature is obsessed with pairs...as in doubles...good and bad...matter and anti-matter...man and wife...whatever...
As I always say,the Great man above has quite a sense of humour. He always grants the opposite of what you actually ask him not to grant. Confused? Let me try to clarify with an example. If I wish that I don't want to stay in London any more,then He(or she for my more feminist friends) will make sure that I stay here for as long as He wishes...!!!This is just a rhetorical example. The real ones are much more complicated!!!
My latest relationship has been on again,off again from the start. So my mood swings(which were legendary to start with) have become even more aggravated over the past seven months. Let us call the person in question P. He is my Mr.Big...my Big Love (Sorry again for the Sex and the City reference...but I'm obsessed with it). I always had an idea that it won't be easy when that big love comes along,still I didn't expect quite so many obstacles. Well, anyway,the issues between P and me are not the theme of this post...so...back to it...I haven't been in a very sane or balanced state of mindset lately,as in I have been sensitive about certain things since that "call for break" or whatever.
I was a bit of a mess the last time because it came when I so did not expect it,as the concept of taking a break while in a relationship itself was unthinkable for me...I didn't handle it all that well. I'm much better this time. For starters,I'm not behaving like a human hosepipe, causing floods all over the place. When I get into one of those moods,I go for long walks,to be alone with my thoughts...and sometimes to escape all the noise inside my head...I try to lose myself in the faces and noises in the crowd.Sometimes it is fun to just take a seat in some crowded place and then observe how fast people go by you...how fast life passes you by...(Well,I want to write more about that too...some other time). These crowds have been my salvation so far. But lately, wherever I go to forget all this nonsense,all I encounter are couples and more of them.(I am sure they were there before too,but I never noticed). I even avoid going to one of my friends' place nearby because there is a blissfully happy couple there ,perfect,made for each other kind. I don't grudge them their happiness,but seeing them reminds me that I can't be with the man I love,that I'm not happy,makes me realise how much I miss P and that how lonely I am...Every time I see a happy couple,that over sensitive nerve in my heart starts twitching and the result is...heartache all over again...It feels like a bruise in my heart,that never quite heals...As I said,the great man above has quite a sense of humour...
