I'm tired...exhausted..sick even...of all the incessant crying and sleeping and lethargy and trying not to burst into tears at random places like the tube or my office etc...Some days it takes all I have to just get out of the bed and try to do something...anything..All I do is lie on the bed all day and do nothing but sleep or think...(which are exactly what I should avoid...well...)The smallest things irritate me...I basically don't want to do anything other than just mope... :X I AM TIRED and sooo pissed at myself......Life used to be much simpler...and I used to be happy,not so long ago...Now I can't even remember those days...Where have all the good days gone.... sigh :-S
And you know what the worst part is...I can't talk about this to any one...ANY ONE...Just the other day my friend RR(Well,there are too many R's in my life...too confusing) was trying to get me to talk about it,so I'll feel better afterwards...but no,I couldn't...which is even stranger...because I can tell him any thing...ANY DAMN THING UNDER THE SUN...This is sooooooooo frustrating...!!!
I know I've been obsessing about this...well,at some level we all have OCD right...but mine is a bit more pronounced than most...Maybe that is one of the things that drove P away...(The other being that I'm a nagging self-centred bitch of course)... Well,I miss him..a lot...He has been my best friend...People say that you shouldn't look for everything in the same man...Well,may be that was my fault...but that is what I want,that is what I'm comfortable with...I dunno...not any more...
P.S: The high point of my evening was when my 12-year old student told me "Miss,you look very pretty". And I'm graduating my masters this Tuesday...
So tomorrow is an auspicious day for you, dear pretty girl.... And let me say, don't ruin that beautiful face with channels from both eyes and a running nose.. Phhhhhhhhhhhhhhew!!... blow ur nose, wipe ur eyes, and go ahead, like a smart girl... :)
ReplyDeletelol lol. rofl... =)) am already flying high..... if i go up anymore,i'll hit the sun :P
ReplyDeleteanyway..thanx hon :)