I wasn't born cynical.In most situations, I am almost optimistic.I like to believe that something good will come out of the most crappy situations. I don't hold grudges,that is,not for very long,I generally let people off the hook after a couple of days or weeks or in the worst situations,a few months. So when I say that I am cynical of relationships or don't believe in wonderful long lasting relationships,that is because I have been burnt,several times,both directly and indirectly,more times than I can count...
The latest in the line is the impending divorce of my cousin who got married a year ago. When I met her last,when I went home in September,she was insanely happy with her husband and family life and all that. And now all of a sudden, she is getting divorced. It is New year for crying out loud... and last year it was my eldest cousin bro and bhabhi, and my cousin her fiance and my childhood idol and her husband.....and last week it was the jackass from my last post breaking up with his totally wonderful,understanding,pretty,girlfriend to hook back up with the girl who broke his heart and almost drove him to ruin his whole life...And do I even have to relate my disastrous personal life??? Na.... didn't think so...I have bored everyone with that for long enough...Sometimes it makes you wonder, whether its wrong to be happy at all...because I have noticed,that whenever I am happy like that,something or the other always goes wrong...
My parents have been married for 25 odd years. I have seen them happy,as in actually happy for about 5 of those years...and that too,in the very recent past,after they have grown older...Till they were always too busy to care or talk or just be there. I grew up seeing them very busy with their respective careers (which is weird because they aren't even that ambitious) or rather,not seeing them at all. I spent most of my childhood and adolescence wondering if it was my fault that I never got to see them,because I was always told that they worked like a couple of dervishes for me...One day,I just stopped caring...
Anyway,my traumatic childhood experiences notwithstanding, the only truly happy couple I have ever seen are my grandparents,which makes me think that happy couples are a rare species. I have seen a lot of separations and divorces and breakups,not to mention rocky relationships. My boyfriend once said that he believes that there is nothing called "the perfect life". A few years before,I might have disagreed. But now,I can't help but wonder,if settling is the name of the game..because no one seems to be getting anywhere expecting great things....
well i agree as well as disagree .....that is because i have seen both sides of the coin....
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