To A...loving brother and great friend...

To A...loving brother and great friend...

I have never gotten around to telling you how much I love you,the truth is, I never got a chance to,we have been too busy fighting and arguing over serious issues at work and petty issues at home...I should have known better,I really can't believe I made the same mistake twice,of not telling someone I love that I loved them. I'm sorry I never took the time to tell you that I love you...despite all the nasty things I've said to you,and heard from you,I love you,I have loved you for as long as I have lived,and I will continue to love you for as long as I shall live...

I mourn your loss with all my heart,I do,really...but I'm not sure yet if I have come to terms with it...well,it has just been two days after all...I spent most part of these days hoping that someone would shout "April fool" and then I'll get to shout at you some more and give you hell for pulling that over me...But then,they cremated you today.So I guess,you really are gone,back to the earth,back to where you came from...whatever...

It is said that you fight the most with the people you love the most,right? Then I guess you are my favourite brother in the world...By your own admittance,we have been fighting for as long as I have been talking...

When I say I mourn you,it is not without a selfish hue to it (Now I see you smile and say "I knew it"). You have always accepted me as the neurotic,self-centred bitch that I am,and never thought less of me due to that. You have lashed out at me regardless of my feelings whenever you felt that I'm going down a wrong path,all the while defending me in front of everyone else. And you have always stood by me,no matter what,even when you knew full well that I was wrong. You respected me as a person,an individual and respected my space and my decisions,errant though they might have been. The fact that I'm your 10-year younger sister never clouded your judgement.

As a boss,you were very taxing,but I've enjoyed working with you. You got me to do things that you couldn't have got a lazy ass like me to do otherwise. That was fun...lol. As a brother,you were a pain in the neck,but I've enjoyed  our banter over the years. As a friend,you were the best...frank,supportive and there always,like my personal rock. I thought you will be there like that always,I never thought you will disappear in a jiffy...like you did...

I would wear black for you for the rest of my life if that would make you happy...but I don't think so...You have lived you life the way you wanted to,on your own terms and had a great one at that(Well,I should quit whining before your sarcasm kicks in...) So I'll just say that it has been a pleasure growing up with you...knowing you...You were decisive but fair,critical but kind...I have had a great time with you...Until we meet again in another world...I love you...Thank you or being there for me...always...Thank you for being you...

P.S- My brother A (whom I'm sure you remember from that extra long post on the other blog some time back) passed away in an accident a couple of days back. I have always maintained that not being able to tell the people you love that you love them is one of the greatest misfortunes of life.It is,indeed...I have learnt it the hard way and I sincerely hope and pray that no one else has to go through the hell that I have gone through...ever...in life...